Nobody’s coming to save us, fix this or that, none of that is going to happen, it is wholly up to us. We are the heroes of our own lives. We are the ones making mistakes, maybe falling from grace… we are also the ones to rise from the ashes. I believe we come to earth to learn so our soul can have experiences of growth, heartbreak, deep connection, pain, envy… all of the potpourri of what life has to offer. This being said looking around for someone to fix things, to make our lives better, to love us, to see us, to validate us is a dicey bet. Because all of those things are an inside job, in our hearts and our minds, it starts first inside of us. That is what this trip here to earth is about: learning, loving and making a proper mess of things in the process of evolving. And if we are lucky, we will  figure some things out before we have to go. 

It is up to us to love ourselves, to see our worth, to find validation within. All of these things are an inside job, when we negotiate our worth with others, we give ourselves away. In doing this we might make others happy who want to mold us into their world, and we lose ourselves in the process, we betray ourselves. Being able to recognize when we have given our voice, our power away is essential.  Figuring out who we are, loving that weird little person we are is the start to freedom, confidence, peace. This process of becoming, of loving yourself as you are is also the start of our hero’s journey. This is our purpose here and it is our homework to evolve. 

This is not to say we do everything alone and live a solidary life. What I am saying is the work is ours to do, each of us, and we do it in community. You can’t play bumper cars alone…just saying. We have to race around and yes crash about with the other players to have the experience we signed up for. Hopefully while we are doing this there is also kindness, understanding, patience and love as we bumble and tumble through this life. 

The stressors in our lives are built by us and it is up to us to dismantle them. Holding a grudge because someone didn’t make the choice, we would have made is ludicrous. It is like playing a game with someone and not telling them they are playing or what the rules are and being mad at them for playing badly.  As an example, if we agree to do something we don’t want to do because we want to support someone, or we don’t want to make a fuss, or we want to think it’s not a big deal and then resent them because we have not voiced how we feel to start with when asked that is on us. Saying yes to things that you want to say no to builds resentment and then colors all the interactions you have with that person. It is poisoning that relationship.  

Being the Hero in your own life is about using your voice, even when you are scared. Doing the things that make you vulnerable in building connection. Not waiting for the other person to make a change when you hold to same key and are also standing still. We hold the power to control our days, our lives, and our choices which dictate our tomorrows. Nobody is as invested in us or can be there for us, more than us. Taking responsibility for our growth, happiness and pain and learning who we are, what makes us tick and honoring those things is the key. Bringing our talents into the world to heal, grow and love was our homework when we showed up to this little blue-green marble. This is what we signed up for, our mission, our purpose, our destiny on this trip to earth school. So, look inside yourself figure out what you want and need and get going. Don’t wait for the right time, the right circumstances, or when it is less scary, there is no such thing. All Heroes are scared, reckless, brave and mess up but they learn as they go. We only have today, right now nothing else is promised.  That is all we have: this one precious moment, what are you going to do with it?

To learn more about my Coaching practice and book a free sample session go to trueroadtraveler@com or send me a note at trueroadtraveler@gmail.com

To read more of my work or subscribe to this blog go to quirkandcircumstances.com

Follow me on Instagram @kbfreeburg