Aging gracefully is pushed by advertisers as a gold standard  which they aim at Boomers, Gen Xers, and certainly catching the attention of nervous Millennials in its wake. The beauty, wellness, financial planning, insurance, including after care for pet, house plants, IV drips for everything from vitality, elasticity in skin and cognitive functions, sexual prowess, hair where you want it, better breath, stronger nails, softer skin, sparkling eyes, teeth, and personality is how they get you. Advertisers promise financial security, strong minds and bodies, and that nothing bad will happen to you as you age if you just buy, use, invest in their product. I am sixty-two. I have lived longer than one of my parents and two of my four sisters. I am happy, mostly well, worried periodically, cranky, stiff, satisfied and in wonder often. Aging gracefully like most things is an inside job. 

At each stage of life there are a batch of advertisers telling us that their product will solve a problem we didn’t know we had. A celebrity spokesperson will insure us that this service or product will make our lives what we want it to be. This was easy to believe when I was younger, I wasn’t too clear what and who I was. I was looking to take my cues from the outside world as to what my life should be, who I should be. I was focused on my outside packaging, looking a certain way to make me feel seen and valued. As an example, I was sucked into finding the perfect shampoo to make my fine, wispy hair thick and lustrous… after a decade I realized that a good haircut, a little product and to stop washing it so much was the first step. The most important revelation was to work with the reality of the nature of my hair instead of what I was told my hair goal should be from outside forces. 

Aging gracefully is accepting and loving who we are and making improvements we want,  and that are possible with what we have. It is about creating conditions for our mind, body and spirit to thrive. It’s understanding who we are from the inside out and then accepting our weird little foibles, quirks, and crusty bits. It’s knowing the importance of turning all the nurturing and kindness we bestow on others back to us. Directing that love and kindness inwards, so we embody it, and it flows from within us outward to the world. This way we are never depleted but rather we share its glow.  We are lit from within. That is the seed of grace, self-love and acceptance in the face of mortality, fear, anxiety, embarrassment and as being seen as less than in others eyes. To love one’s self and forgive our faults and perceived short comings allows us to do that for others, as it becomes second nature to us. 

When you grow older with good humor, it helps grease the wheels of the clown car that is life. I recently had someone tell me she coughed, farted and sneezed almost simultaneously and thought it might kill her.  She was able to laugh at the loss of control of a body that was once hers. Getting used to an aging body with a will of its own is yet another physical transition life has in store for everyone who stops the test of time. We have gone through this all before though, there have been other transitions our bodies have undergone. We don’t shame children when they grow into tweens and teens, we celebrate it. When the baby fat of youth becomes sleek, muscled or honed we accept the process. Not that folks are not trying to market to those changes, but we are not denying them, shaming them or hiding them. 

Aging is a natural progression like the seasons, it is the fall into winter of our bodies. Aging gracefully is accepting the sheet sleep wrinkles for hours after you get up, not thinking twice about them. It’s knowing a cough on a full bladder can be dicey at times.  Being happy to be here now, above ground, grateful to learn, play and dance however creaky, slow, weird that may look. The joy that comes from how it feels is what matters. To express emotions, to be present and loving to ourselves and others as we slide down this last slide. Accepting our busted, sagging parts and happy to still be at the party with those we love. Aging gracefully is living fully, in the moment, with curiosity of what comes next and gratitude with what is happening now. It is accepting the new normal of what our body, mind and spirit can do today not what we think it should do or used to do. Focusing on what our present adventure is and what that is offering us. Aging is a gift at any age. Not everyone gets to stay at this party for as long as they or we would have wanted them to. So, whether you are 25, 45, or 65 don’t take what you have today for granted comparing it to yesterday. That is like driving down the highway looking in your rearview mirror, only seeing where you used to be and missing all that is in front of you. That destination is just regret. Celebrate the life and love you have now in the moment because all moments pass. The art to life is to live it as it happens with abandon, purpose, and gratitude. That means to be here now. 

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