As we all know, there is a balance to life, and during this time of the year we are keenly aware it can go kablouie, where we lose track of the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup. Unless your dear friend Marsue is coming to visit for the holidays, then it might look like champagne, champagne truffles, champagne cocktails and aspirin. The point here is … what was my point? Oh yea, the point is to celebrate, whether like Buddy the Elf or Bukowski—it does not matter, but make it your own.

Holidays come gift wrapped in the world’s traditions, family rituals and high expectations all around. Oy vey, let it go folks! Nothing perfect was ever any fun. Besides, perfect and normal are fiction and dead-boring. This year, create your own rituals for yourself and with your loved ones. Make sure you create them from a need to enjoy and not a need to orchestrate. Embrace the family traditions that make you happy, not want to reach for the cooking sherry while the coffee is brewing at 7am. Remember to build in space for a nap and a drink with a friend, and add the want to’s to your To Do List with the have to’s. If there is frowning from a section of the crowd, family or friends that you are not doing it right, remember there are many paths to climb a mountain as well as many ways to decorate a Christmas tree, make a kugel or turkey, or decide where to hide the good wine from Aunt Kyra. Decide to celebrate then choose how. Be conscious of what feels good and what feeds your soul.

Don’t buy into anyone else’s expectations or what the media is saying either. We don’t have to go broke; we don’t have to eat until we are unconscious; we don’t have to do, do, do; we can just be and enjoy the fellowship. We live in abundance, so the pie will be there tomorrow and the next day. There is always pie somewhere in the world that is in the Universe’s rule book for humankind’s existence. I even think it’s in Subsection IVX. Wait, let me find it, here it is … “Pie is good, pie is great; make sure there is always pie for their plates.” Hello? So relax on stuff, play, enjoy each other and smile at the checkout people who are harried and overworked. Say nice things to them like, “Hey how’s it going?” or “Thank you so much”, or “Did you see the naked women with her hair on fire in aisle 5 looking at chain-saws? Wow!”

I don’t know about you all, but I am making my holiday wish list and there is some eggnog with Brodi’s and my name on it, a December Nights adventure with Jessica, coloring with Tindal, champagne cocktails with Marsue, lots of laughter at the Pathways Office while eating baked goods as we turn hard work into play, more laughter with the staff at Brabant over a good meal, fine Belgian brew and fellowship if I am lucky, talking Halan into an Old Fashion somewhere posh, long phone calls with my sisters Chris and Susan reminiscing about magic beans to grow a Christmas tree and a the midnight feast. And Lordy, this is just the tip of the iceberg! Mostly there is deep gratitude for all the people in my life, past and present. I am a better person having known and loved you all, and then add the nog and those four major food groups and I am golden. Happy, happy, joy, joy folks: list it up!