My friend John asked to help with a Releasing Ceremony, which is a ritual that focuses on letting go of something that no longer serves us. I give classes on things like life balance, behavior change, setting goals, finding your core values, all that stuff we should have learned in school about managing our crazy but didn’t. So in working on a simple homework assignment it occurred to me I can make it more complicated by making it into a piece and putting it out there for general consumption as we come to the close of another fine year and are looking for ways to improve the quality of our lives.

So to go back to the Releasing Ceremony: the type of things we would be looking at is what we want to remove or let go of in our lives that no longer serves us. That can be a behavior, a limiting belief about our-selves or someone else, a relationship, circumstance we have placed ourselves in, almost anything.  In order to release something we need to be able to identify what is limiting us in our forward motion or desired outcome. There are many ways to achieve this but it all starts with looking at our lives and what behaviors or events bring us satisfaction, happiness, engagement and what elements frustrate, cause anxiety, avoidance tactics, bring on procrastination, etc. We use our internal guidance system for play, curiosity and engagement to lead us to what resonates. In a nutshell, to what feels good.

�A simple way to start is to make a list of three things that work well in your life this could be things like great friendships, satisfying work, enjoyable hobbies, be a specific as you can. Start to pay attention to patterns of things that make you happy, pull you in and excite you. Then make a list of three things you want to change in some way, either get better at or bring in, examples here could be introduction of a significant relationship, more stability financially, better fitness, balance between work and play. Notice I am placing the emphasis on what I want to bring in not what I want to let go of. So instead of the focus being letting go of being alone or a bad relationship, releasing the remote and getting off the sofa or even my broke ass self, I am choosing to focus on what the new behavior or my desired out-come is.

You need to come up with three things that you want to adjust or replace with something that is more in-line with what feels good and where you want your life to go. Again these things can be a behavior, relationship, and/or belief. This is about manifesting something good not only releasing something that does not serve.

By removing something that is not working we create a void, in order to move forward we need to fill that void with something we want, not just what slides in the space we have created. This is about purposeful creating, manifesting and actively building the life you want. If you call a restaurant to get food delivered you will be more satisfied by being specific about what you want to eat. Telling them to send something good over will not guarantee you will get what want you want or need. The same is true here.

So as you identify what you want to release also look at what you are replacing it with. What are you inviting in, what are you focusing on. We want to focus our energies on where we are going not what we are letting go of to move in a more active and positive direction.  Just as your car goes where your eyes go as you drive, your mind, body, spirit go where your thoughts and actions are directed.  This is an active and dynamic process.

So to recap create a list of three things, areas that are working well, paying close attention to how they make you feel. In doing this these areas might provide clues as to how to implement improvement in other areas you are not as satisfied with.  Then list three things that you what to release, change or improve on and take a look at how they differ from the first list. How do they make you feel, how can you shift, change or let go of elements or the whole of what no longer serves?  For each of the three things you are considering changing/releasing what would you replace it with? What will you allow, focus on and bring in to your life instead? Prioritize the list of three so the one that has the most impact to your daily quality of life is the first to focus on. Change is created by small, consistent, and constant steps away from what is….