Santa, Michael Jackson and the Miracle Martini Shaker

Well there’s a lot of hub-bub this time every year about the fat man and his role in the holiday season. No, I’m not talking about Al Roker, jeez he got the gastric by-pass done. I’m talking about the other fat man, Santa and whether he really exists. Yes, I know Virginia, at a certain age someone let it slip and you lost your childhood innocence and I am not talking about behind the bleachers in high school with Jimmy-No-GPA. I am talking about our belief in Santa, a long time ago when we were small and Christian Santa existed. We loved the fact that there was mystery and anything could happen. We believed in his magic and all that was good and true. Unfortunately, we were then told that what we believed to be good and true was actually Wal-Mart, which turns out is not so good or true. I am here to say that Wal-Mart is the lie, and Santa is a busy guy so don’t believe in that bad press.

So, hearing that Santa is not responsible for much of Christmas is blatantly untrue. Yea, yea, yea the fiscal cliff has him dialed back on the gift giving this year, it’s no surprise the DCers are getting coal and luggies in their stockings. Even the Twinkie Elves are crashing and its true Santa’s deal with Sony and Target fell through. Regardless he still maintains the same PR push of Peace on Earth and Good Will Toward Men, etcetera. He is a good guy who has his challenges; he numbs with food but has a solid base and a strong message. He is not going anywhere.

On a side note: “adult,” “grown-up” and all those titles are cracked up to be is mostly crap. Besides being able to eat candy and cold pizza for breakfast and having a driver’s license, you got nada. Look, I am 51, and I am a responsible adult, but by no means grown-up. Being a “grown-up” dictates you should behave in a certain way–no thanks. You can pry my bubbles, crayons and pick-up sticks out of my cold dead hands when I am gone. I also prefer to keep my sense of wonder about the world and to continue making play a priority on my to do list. I will continue to jump in puddles, double-dare those around me to do silly things, and make crank calls to my mother.   I understand I may not pass this way again and frankly, with my memory I might not remember this moment past that next traffic light.

This is not the first time the “adults” in our lives lied to us. In fact, adults perpetrate mass fraud on a daily basis. Look at “Happily Ever After” and the “Prince or Princess Charming” phenomenon.  Hey, we know royalty has to poop and at times they leave the seat up, so in the middle of the night, in the dark, you find yourself in a splash down. I am not saying true love doesn’t exist. I am saying the PR we were sold as to the nature of true love, was a lie. True love does exist but it is human, nutty, gassy and wonderful. It is for us to see all of who that person is and love them and not just the storybook part.

Another lie put out there is that stuff matters, material goods. Well part of that is true according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs; we need shelter, food, etc. that is all fine and good. A McMansion on a secluded south west facing lot with French classic, neo-cosmopolitan furniture overlooking an avocado grove does not always up the happy factor in one’s life however. It means you need lots of stuff to put in said McMansion, have people take care of it, secure it, and you work harder to keep it. That means long days at the office, maybe weekends away from that house you thought would bring the happy, sense of success or belonging. Then you need longer more exotic vacations to rest from the overtime, and then come back and work harder to afford the vacation and live in the “happy” house… kind of sounds like a gerbil on a wheel huh? The lie of what success looks like is just one of many.

Smaller, but more insidious lies that are perpetuated are lies like arugula is real, unlike Santa may I say. Nope, arugula is whatever weed is growing closest the back kitchen door at whatever restaurant you are eating at. No one really knows what arugula looks like past it being leafy, green stuff. It became popular because people liked saying it, so Dole and others packaged it. They can weed the real veggies and sell us arugula at an upcharge, just brill.

Another one of these perpetuated lies is that Wildebeests are real. Nope, fiction. They are not a real animal but rather a fine product of Disney. The reverse is true for jackalopes they are real; you can’t swing a dead jackalope without hitting, ugh, well another one in the western climes. We take so much at face value, just because someone who’s tanned, unlined and seemingly trustworthy shows up on the screen of our choice and says so. Come on, we know real life is stranger than fiction! The best example of that is when Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson—who was another Disney product, though less successful. They went through many revisions and still never could get a fully functional production model.

All I am saying is: we dismiss things like magic and miracles, which I believe are nothing more than faith and magic shaken up in a giant martini shaker, for lots of hard and fast limits. We choose rules, should’s, stringent criteria, material possessions, cold logic and posh weeds over infinite wonder, imagination, and love. How’s about we shift our focus to things we believed to be true before we got some “sense?” Things like angels, dragons and cute, comfortable shoes really exist. That we can have fun being almost anywhere with anyone if we bring the right attitude. That we can be or do anything we want as long as we work hard. Helpful is better than hurtful in any situation. That doing nothing in particular is very important. That mac ‘n’ cheese, not the fancy kind, but the toxic orange powder box stuff rules! That just because I can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. That Trolls do live under bridges and frequent corner pubs at 2am. That most importantly that we are truly loved.

Happy Holidays all!




About kyra333

I am a Personal and Professional Life Coach. I work with clients to help them create a life with passion, purpose and clear intent. I make a lot of mistakes, laugh, learn and write about them then then move down the road. I am a true road traveler, a counselor, writer, teacher and student who uses her intuitive skills like it's her job!To Book a Free Sample Session Contact me at
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