We are being pushed to change in ways we never imagined. Changes to how we live, how we work, our schooling, socializing- everything has changed quickly. It was sudden, like a tidal wave. Our old lives were swept away, and we are now figuring out our new lives stumble by stumble.
These are the circumstances of living through a pandemic. The key here, is to live, not just survive, even perhaps to aim for thriving. We have an opportunity to consider other options and ways of living. Maybe get away from old ways of being, thinking and doing. Circumstances are pushing us to do that anyway.
Here’s the thing, change happens with or without us. I would rather be in the driver’s seat of that change, than in the backseat complaining about it. By being in the backseat, or in denial about change, is to be without any influence or agency on the direction your life is taking.
Here are some ways start a conversation with your new friend: Change
1. Name it. Address how you feel about whatever change is in front of you. If you are anxious, excited, angry… name your feelings. This allows you to work with what is and where you are. Denying our feelings make them stronger. It is like throwing gasoline on a fire instead of water. Pain and fear don’t dissipate until they are seen and are acknowledged.
2. Be Kind. Be kind to yourself and be patient in looking at where you are and how you are feeling about it. This is not a time to judge ourselves but simply notice with compassion. As an example: I am angry that my hours were cut and frightened I can’t pay my bills. Talk to yourself as you would a friend. You would not berate a friend in hard times so don’t do it to yourself.
3. Be Curious and Creative. These go hand in hand here. Being curious invites us to look at our limits in a creative way. We get curious about the nature of that limit, what about that limit do we control? Curiosity is the best way to approach change and adversity to see your way out. Being creative brings us to problem solving, looking for resources, thinking outside the box of possibilities. In brainstorming, there are no bad ideas. The more the better. Evaluation comes later but just filling a page of ideas and possible solutions is freeing and opens you up to new ways of thinking, being and doing.
4. Explore it. Here is the stage of talking to trusted friends, experts and colleagues, researching, evaluating, and finding resources that can help move you from brainstorming to action. Then making a list prioritizing the best 2 or 3 options to move you in a better direction. Don’t spend too much time here or it can turn into analysis paralysis.
5. Test it. Time to try some options. In the above example of lost hours, maybe one solution would be to do a remote side hustle online in customer service or consulting or with Instacart to tide you over in the bills department until you find something more sustainable. Maybe it is to invite in a roommate, cut out some media services, or get less take-out. Small changes add up just reducing the times a week you order out from 4 to 2 at say 10 a meal adds up. Instead of spending $2,008 a year on takeout you would be spending $1,004. Small changes over time net large results in our life.
We humans hate change, I get that. I am a Professional Life Coach who shepherds’ folks through the process of big and small life changes daily. It is hard, it is messy and fraught with uncertainty- but the rewards are immense. The reward is living a life with passion and purpose- Cheers Kyra
For more information about my coaching go to Trueroadtraveler.com.